March Molest Request: Karen Gillan

Miss Gillan, you can ride in my TARDIS any day. (Why are my molest requests always so nerdy?)

March Molest Request: Justin Theroux

So I was all geared up to indulge in my desire to molest Ryan Adams this month, but then I just read that Justin Theroux is directing and writing the new Zoolander movie, and anyone who knows me knows those words right there are fucking magic. And straight up, he may be the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Look at that fucking bone structure! Not to mention he was the hottest little sub ever on Six Feet Under.....

P.S.: Fuck YEAH, thumbs up!

Also the man has serious style. Sigh. Not gonna lie you guys, this google image search miiiight have lead to some masturbation. Good god. Mr. Theroux might need to look into restraining orders in case I ever end up in NYC.

March Molest Request - Jason Lee

Ohhh Jason Lee.. I'm pretty sure I've had this molest request since I was 17. I'm still waiting..... mustache, beard, I don't care - I'll even let you name my first born. Welcome to the Bone Zone.

February Molest Request: Anthony Bourdain

Oh Tony.....

(p.s. Nom Nom Nom@Josh Homme in the background)

I've loved you since A Cook's Tour. I've read three of your books. I know you've gone through your mid-life crisis and got remarried and had a baby and stopped smoking, but I still think you're pretty much a badass.

I was a vegetarian for 5 years, that makes you wanna punish me right? Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.

1st Request of the New Year

JDM
(Jeffrey Dean Morgan)
RDJ lite if you will

Marie's Super Sweet January Molest Request

Jonathan Meiberg was basically made for me to love him. Or at least try to get into his Bonezone. He used to be in Okkervil River (♥♥♥) and now he's got his own band, Shearwater.
He looks like this:

He sounds like this:

SIGH

And he's a MOTHER-EFFING ORNITHOLOGIST. Seriously. That's an interview with him in Scientific American. SWWWOOOOOONNNN. IT'S SCIENCE.

Also the new Shearwater album is the most amazing thing I've heard in months. GO GET IT. uh...when it comes out....I didn't download a leak, I swear.....

December Molest Request de Raeven

Still Hot

Valerie's Molest Request for December

James motherfucking Franco!





Yeah... I'd smell that.

Chris' Bone Zone Request

So Marie said that my Bone Zone request for December couldn't be some random missed connection person I see on my ride home from work. She said it has to be somebody famous and unattainable. This rules a lot of celebrities out, because my combination of retarded jokes and too much alcohol can woo even the hottest of celebutantes. Believe it?

But, Marie said that fictional characters were okay. So this December, let me make my feelings known:

Kitty Pryde (aka Shadowcat) if you weren't a fictional comic book character you'd totally be in my Bone Zone.

Not only is she fictional, but in the comics she's stuck in a giant space bullet hurtling through the interstellar void after she used to intangibility powers to keep it from destroying earth. I swear I could not make up this shit if I tried.

Time to put in my molest request for December!

And since it's the last month of the year, this is basically my overriding molest request for 2009.

So what's up, Alexander Skarsgard?

Here's the deal. You don't have to make plans or call beforehand. Just show up. Whenever. You don't even have to get in touch afterward. Y/y?

Molest Request Sammich...

The only thing that could make this better would to be in a hot tub with some lamb shanks.

My Molest Request - November

Call me crazy, but I love a good beard.


Sam Beam - Iron and Wine

Putting in my molest request for November:

Helgi Jonsson, call me.