Eli Roth...

in a pool, naked, showing off his ass. BOOOOOOOOOOOOONEZONE. Christ almighty.

Full On Creep Mode in the Sunset.

Dude in the turquoise hoodie and dork glasses crossing 19th that I just saw out of my window? BONEZONE

Here's the deal. I know it makes me a full on creep, but this is the view from my room:

As you can see, I have a view of both the 28 stop that goes in the direction of SF State as well as the inbound N stop, and it's a pretty busy pedestrian intersection for the stops going in the other directions. And I'm not gonna lie, it's a fucking hottie parade out there. I have definitely been inebriated and shamelessly catcalling from my window before. I'm awful, I know.

On a related note, I totally got to the bonezone a couple of weeks ago and forgot to close my curtains. I choose to think of it as my way of giving back to the neighborhood. Ha.

Music for the BoneZone: Peter Gabriel

Peter Gabriel writes songs that make ME want to fall in love. That should indicate the kinds of magical BoneZone powers this man has. Like "I would look you in the eyes while we fuck" kinds of powers. Cause as well all know, I hate intimacy. But MAGIC PETER GABRIEL POWERS! Bam, there I am, trying to connect with you on some emotional level or something. WHO AM I?


(Also this video is from 1994. Way to rock those skinny jeans before the trend Peter!)


My favorite Peter Gabriel song ever. Also, Peter circa '78: BONEZONE


How could I not include this one? It's like the original misfit/weirdo BoneZone jam.


This one is just epic. Epically BONE-worthy.

On a related note, if you come upon me listening to Peter Gabriel and you ask "Why are you listening to Phil Collins?" you are AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIED from my BoneZone FOREVER.

NOT IN MY BONEZONE

If you spit some line about how you're "great at eating pussy" to try to get into my bonezone, it will have the complete opposite effect. Seriously, that makes my vagina want to shrivel up and crawl inside of itself. Barf.

East Bay Bonezone

So I basically already knew this from my recent dating history, but
last night totally confirmed this. Boys from Oakland are waaaay more
in my Bonezone than boys in the city. What the hell SF? Get with it.

Texts from Tonight: "Marie is Kinda Scary" Edition

Garrett: So are you gonna give him a ride on the ol mustache?
Marie: Shit yeah I am. Haha.
Garrett: Hahaha.
Marie: Then I'll knock him up with like 10 of my babies.
Garrett: You would get a guy prego. Lol.
Marie: Haha. I know. If anyone can do it I'm pretty sure it will be me.
Garrett: It's true.

Oh. My.

Hot Dudes on Bikes
Best website ever? Y/Y?
BONEZONE all over the place. Good grief.

Sometimes I think I write the cards on "SomeEcards" in my sleep...

Cause damn if they aren't totally on the nose.

March Molest Request: Karen Gillan

Miss Gillan, you can ride in my TARDIS any day. (Why are my molest requests always so nerdy?)

Joko und Klaas go to the German Porn Awards

Joko & Klaas are German MTV hosts. I want to have a million of their babies. Especially Joko. He's so tall. And blond. And German. Not to mention, those dork glasses are making my naughty bits tingle.

Here they are playing "Porno Ping Pong". These boys love porn apparently. Men after my own heart.

Come Pick Me Up

This song is forever a key to the BONEZONE. I'm fairly certain that if anyone ever sang this to me I'd drop to my knees and propose *while* fellating them. Double time if it's actually Ryan Adams doing the singing.

Killing it in the Sunset:

Euro-tourists in the park: KILLING IT
Hipster boys that my neighborhood is all of a sudden full of: KILLING IT
Chick walking in front of my apartment in a Joy Division t shirt: KILLING IT

Texts from Tonight: Webcam Edition

(3/25/2010 12:38:54 AM) Marie: dammit

(12:39:03 AM) Marie: so andrew and I got high at his place and went on chat roulette

(12:39:14 AM) Marie: NOW i find out that eli roth is on there

(12:39:19 AM) Marie: as we speak

(12:39:24 AM) Chris: dang

(12:39:25 AM) Marie: but now I'm at home

(12:39:30 AM) Marie: and not on chat roulette

(12:39:32 AM) Marie: ha

(12:39:42 AM) Chris: so go on there now

(12:39:51 AM) Marie: but i don't have a webcam

(12:39:56 AM) Marie: and I want to show him some titties

(12:47:36 AM) Chris: ahahaha

(12:47:41 AM) Chris: you are ridiculous

(12:47:49 AM) Marie: haha i mean I'm really high right now

(12:47:51 AM) Marie: so that's part of it

(12:48:02 AM) Marie: but also I am just awesome

Girls with freckles and red hair are killin it. Definitely in my bonezone (the shady part so she doesn't burn).

Hello...

Girl with nose piercing sitting on the tilt-a-whirl on the bus.
(Yeah, I know. I'm treating the BZB like my own persoanal craigslist missed connections. Don't care.)

Bonezone in memorium

This post goes out to my morning train crush, who I will never see
again since my schedule has switched from 8:45 to 10:30. So beautiful,
hotter, taller, blonder Ryan Gosling with the sexy hipster haircut and
the really hot peacoats who gets on the N at Cole and Carl at 7:45,
this ones for you. And for the bonezone equivalent of pouring out some
of my 40 for my dead homies, the next time I get to the bonezone
(tonight I'm pretty sure) I'll think of your hot hot ass.

Killing it part 2

So, as a follow-up to my previous post the following ladies are also killing it:

ladies with boyfriends, ladies walking dogs, ladies on their commute home through the panhandle, lady at the bank, german ladies wanting to know what there is to do in San Francisco (answer: get in my bonezone).

Not killing it:

lady waiting for the N with long hair, bangs and mom/hipster pants pulled up over her pooch. NOT IN MY BONEZONE LADY!

Downtown Girls

So I went for a walk on my lunch break and just about every girl I see is in my bonezone. Students, cyclists, tourists and business ladies are all killing it. I may have to develop some balls and just start asking strangers for their numbers.

March Molest Request: Justin Theroux

So I was all geared up to indulge in my desire to molest Ryan Adams this month, but then I just read that Justin Theroux is directing and writing the new Zoolander movie, and anyone who knows me knows those words right there are fucking magic. And straight up, he may be the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Look at that fucking bone structure! Not to mention he was the hottest little sub ever on Six Feet Under.....

P.S.: Fuck YEAH, thumbs up!

Also the man has serious style. Sigh. Not gonna lie you guys, this google image search miiiight have lead to some masturbation. Good god. Mr. Theroux might need to look into restraining orders in case I ever end up in NYC.

Le bonezone

We ended up behind these French hotties yesterday while walking down
stanyan. Went and had lunch on haight and as we left the restaurant
guess who ended up in front of us again? It was a fine, fine walk.

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