Man, we need to get these

What do you mean they're only mock-ups?! Damn it!

via

My friend just sent me this for Mother's Day:

                
Preeeeetty much.

Molest Request Sammich: Stipe Erceg and Daniel Brühl

I'm watching The Edukators right now.

It's pretty awesome and all, but the important thing is that Stipe Erceg:

and Daniel Brühl (who you might recognize from Inglorius Basterds):

are SQUARELY in my BoneZone.
At the same time.

BoneZone Bites:

• Fuck Yeah Hot Blonde Guys: Best. Site. Ever.
• Hot Guys Reading Books: Pretty good runner up, though not as great as Hot Dudes on Bikes.
• Filament Magazine: Got a subscription to this porno for intellectual ladies mag for my bday. My friends know me waaay too well.

April Molest Request: LynZ

She is the bassist of my favorite band: Mindless Self Indulgence. Her name is LynZ (real name unknown) and she wears plaid skirts and does back bend and splits while she plays. I'm not really sure more needs to be said.

No Molest Requests for April

April was a rather shit month so I've decided that it doesn't deserve
any Molest Requests. Ha. May should be awesome though, especially
since my birthday is this month. Hopefully it's full of super BoneZone
adventures and Molest Requests apleanty!

Eli Roth...

in a pool, naked, showing off his ass. BOOOOOOOOOOOOONEZONE. Christ almighty.

Full On Creep Mode in the Sunset.

Dude in the turquoise hoodie and dork glasses crossing 19th that I just saw out of my window? BONEZONE

Here's the deal. I know it makes me a full on creep, but this is the view from my room:

As you can see, I have a view of both the 28 stop that goes in the direction of SF State as well as the inbound N stop, and it's a pretty busy pedestrian intersection for the stops going in the other directions. And I'm not gonna lie, it's a fucking hottie parade out there. I have definitely been inebriated and shamelessly catcalling from my window before. I'm awful, I know.

On a related note, I totally got to the bonezone a couple of weeks ago and forgot to close my curtains. I choose to think of it as my way of giving back to the neighborhood. Ha.

Music for the BoneZone: Peter Gabriel

Peter Gabriel writes songs that make ME want to fall in love. That should indicate the kinds of magical BoneZone powers this man has. Like "I would look you in the eyes while we fuck" kinds of powers. Cause as well all know, I hate intimacy. But MAGIC PETER GABRIEL POWERS! Bam, there I am, trying to connect with you on some emotional level or something. WHO AM I?


(Also this video is from 1994. Way to rock those skinny jeans before the trend Peter!)


My favorite Peter Gabriel song ever. Also, Peter circa '78: BONEZONE


How could I not include this one? It's like the original misfit/weirdo BoneZone jam.


This one is just epic. Epically BONE-worthy.

On a related note, if you come upon me listening to Peter Gabriel and you ask "Why are you listening to Phil Collins?" you are AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIED from my BoneZone FOREVER.

NOT IN MY BONEZONE

If you spit some line about how you're "great at eating pussy" to try to get into my bonezone, it will have the complete opposite effect. Seriously, that makes my vagina want to shrivel up and crawl inside of itself. Barf.

East Bay Bonezone

So I basically already knew this from my recent dating history, but
last night totally confirmed this. Boys from Oakland are waaaay more
in my Bonezone than boys in the city. What the hell SF? Get with it.

Texts from Tonight: "Marie is Kinda Scary" Edition

Garrett: So are you gonna give him a ride on the ol mustache?
Marie: Shit yeah I am. Haha.
Garrett: Hahaha.
Marie: Then I'll knock him up with like 10 of my babies.
Garrett: You would get a guy prego. Lol.
Marie: Haha. I know. If anyone can do it I'm pretty sure it will be me.
Garrett: It's true.

Oh. My.

Hot Dudes on Bikes
Best website ever? Y/Y?
BONEZONE all over the place. Good grief.

Sometimes I think I write the cards on "SomeEcards" in my sleep...

Cause damn if they aren't totally on the nose.

March Molest Request: Karen Gillan

Miss Gillan, you can ride in my TARDIS any day. (Why are my molest requests always so nerdy?)

Joko und Klaas go to the German Porn Awards

Joko & Klaas are German MTV hosts. I want to have a million of their babies. Especially Joko. He's so tall. And blond. And German. Not to mention, those dork glasses are making my naughty bits tingle.

Here they are playing "Porno Ping Pong". These boys love porn apparently. Men after my own heart.

Come Pick Me Up

This song is forever a key to the BONEZONE. I'm fairly certain that if anyone ever sang this to me I'd drop to my knees and propose *while* fellating them. Double time if it's actually Ryan Adams doing the singing.

Killing it in the Sunset:

Euro-tourists in the park: KILLING IT
Hipster boys that my neighborhood is all of a sudden full of: KILLING IT
Chick walking in front of my apartment in a Joy Division t shirt: KILLING IT

Texts from Tonight: Webcam Edition

(3/25/2010 12:38:54 AM) Marie: dammit

(12:39:03 AM) Marie: so andrew and I got high at his place and went on chat roulette

(12:39:14 AM) Marie: NOW i find out that eli roth is on there

(12:39:19 AM) Marie: as we speak

(12:39:24 AM) Chris: dang

(12:39:25 AM) Marie: but now I'm at home

(12:39:30 AM) Marie: and not on chat roulette

(12:39:32 AM) Marie: ha

(12:39:42 AM) Chris: so go on there now

(12:39:51 AM) Marie: but i don't have a webcam

(12:39:56 AM) Marie: and I want to show him some titties

(12:47:36 AM) Chris: ahahaha

(12:47:41 AM) Chris: you are ridiculous

(12:47:49 AM) Marie: haha i mean I'm really high right now

(12:47:51 AM) Marie: so that's part of it

(12:48:02 AM) Marie: but also I am just awesome

Girls with freckles and red hair are killin it. Definitely in my bonezone (the shady part so she doesn't burn).

Hello...

Girl with nose piercing sitting on the tilt-a-whirl on the bus.
(Yeah, I know. I'm treating the BZB like my own persoanal craigslist missed connections. Don't care.)

Bonezone in memorium

This post goes out to my morning train crush, who I will never see
again since my schedule has switched from 8:45 to 10:30. So beautiful,
hotter, taller, blonder Ryan Gosling with the sexy hipster haircut and
the really hot peacoats who gets on the N at Cole and Carl at 7:45,
this ones for you. And for the bonezone equivalent of pouring out some
of my 40 for my dead homies, the next time I get to the bonezone
(tonight I'm pretty sure) I'll think of your hot hot ass.

Killing it part 2

So, as a follow-up to my previous post the following ladies are also killing it:

ladies with boyfriends, ladies walking dogs, ladies on their commute home through the panhandle, lady at the bank, german ladies wanting to know what there is to do in San Francisco (answer: get in my bonezone).

Not killing it:

lady waiting for the N with long hair, bangs and mom/hipster pants pulled up over her pooch. NOT IN MY BONEZONE LADY!

Downtown Girls

So I went for a walk on my lunch break and just about every girl I see is in my bonezone. Students, cyclists, tourists and business ladies are all killing it. I may have to develop some balls and just start asking strangers for their numbers.

March Molest Request: Justin Theroux

So I was all geared up to indulge in my desire to molest Ryan Adams this month, but then I just read that Justin Theroux is directing and writing the new Zoolander movie, and anyone who knows me knows those words right there are fucking magic. And straight up, he may be the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Look at that fucking bone structure! Not to mention he was the hottest little sub ever on Six Feet Under.....

P.S.: Fuck YEAH, thumbs up!

Also the man has serious style. Sigh. Not gonna lie you guys, this google image search miiiight have lead to some masturbation. Good god. Mr. Theroux might need to look into restraining orders in case I ever end up in NYC.

Le bonezone

We ended up behind these French hotties yesterday while walking down
stanyan. Went and had lunch on haight and as we left the restaurant
guess who ended up in front of us again? It was a fine, fine walk.

>

>
>

Double team!

Beautiful boy at citrus club just gave both Garrett and I the once
over. You know what that means!

Are you

A shirtless soccer player in golden gate park right now? BONEZONE
p.s. I am such a creep

BoneZone: The Movie

Garrett and I are watching the J.J. Abrams Star Trek. My BoneZone is is overload mode. Jesus Christ. Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Chris Pine, Karl Urban, Eric Bana.

I'm in total sugar shock over here.

Prepare yourselves: Hottie Watching

 (These are our "undressing you with our eyes" faces)

So my lovely, wonderful, awesome gay bff of 15 years, Garrett, is visiting me this weekend from San Diego. Our absolute favorite thing to do when he's up here is "Hottie Watching" where we go somewhere like the Mission, spend all day in bars, and watch all the hot hot boys who pass by. This is our grand plan for today. There will be so much BoneZone action, though not of the literal variety unfortunately...sigh. But updates galore will be forthcoming, post haste.

Are you....

a hot gay Hawaiian bartender who spent way too much money buying shots for me last night??
Garrett and I both say: BONEZONE!

Every girl I've seen in the city for three days now...

...BONEZONE.

Seriously, there are a ridiculous amount of hot girls just wandering around out there. I want to take them home with me. Every girl under 30 (women really, not girls, perverts) I've seen has looked smoking. I keep making involuntary noises or yelling "Hot damn!" when I'm riding my bike around. You're killing it SF ladies. Now just be as cool as Oakland ladies and we can work something out.

(Also, what's up ladies in my scuba class?)

SFPDaaaaaamn

I posted about her on my twitter, but cute short-haired blonde police officer who patrols the neighborhood near my work needs to get in my bonezone. I know she's gay, but I don't care.

Bonezone on The Rock

Are you....
A hot Asian girl with freckles?
A tall blond german guy with cheekbones to die for?
A pair of hot hot Dutch brothers who are probably like 20?
Any number of other stupidly hot tourists I've flirted with today?

BONEZONE!!

March Molest Request - Jason Lee

Ohhh Jason Lee.. I'm pretty sure I've had this molest request since I was 17. I'm still waiting..... mustache, beard, I don't care - I'll even let you name my first born. Welcome to the Bone Zone.

Texts from Last Night: The BoneZone Version

Text message conversation my sister and I had this morning:

Valerie: Thoughts on Eli Roth?
Marie: Soooooo in my bonezone. I'm like obsessed with him.
Marie: He's actually the only reason I watched Inglorious Basterds to begin with.
Valerie: Hahahaha seriously!! HOT
Marie: He totally cyber sexed a bunch of his fans last year. Not even joking. Haha. That's when I knew I loved him.
Valerie: Me too!! Haha.

: /

This uber hot Dutch looking motherfucker just made "nom nom nom"
noises at me as I was walking down the island.
My bonezone is so conflicted.

Puppet time

Puppet foreplay?

BONEZONE

I'm pretty sure...

that my sex-drive is the only thing keeping this blog alive. Well that and I enabled e-mail posting so now I post from my phone every random thing that occurs to me wherever I happen to be.

Still, Raeven, Valerie, Chris....WTF?

I've said it a million times

There's nothing better than hot couples. They make my goddamn day.
BONEZONE, fo sho.

Oh Malcolm Holland...

Wanna be my sensitive, animal-activist boyfriend? I really like the way you're so serious about saving whales.
Also, pirate dude you're kicking it with up there is pretty hot. Threesome?

I love this:

I posted this on my personal blog over a year ago and I just remembered about it.

Best one: "I Rule. At Fuckin'. My Job. Is Truckin'. Don't Stop. Keep Suckin'"

P.S.

SCRATCH THAT. No longer applies.

"Penis Bone" Zone

If on our second date you give me a copper-wire wrapped fox baculum pendant that you made....BONEZONE.

February Molest Request: Anthony Bourdain

Oh Tony.....

(p.s. Nom Nom Nom@Josh Homme in the background)

I've loved you since A Cook's Tour. I've read three of your books. I know you've gone through your mid-life crisis and got remarried and had a baby and stopped smoking, but I still think you're pretty much a badass.

I was a vegetarian for 5 years, that makes you wanna punish me right? Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.

i live in the platonic palace

It does not excite me.
However, this does..

He sure can hit that high note.

Dork Glasses

File Under: Things that will land you in my immediate BONEZONE. Seriously. They're like +20 hot points.

 

(Sidenote: Sooooo need to file a molest request for Justin Theroux)

1st Request of the New Year

JDM
(Jeffrey Dean Morgan)
RDJ lite if you will

Marie's Super Sweet January Molest Request

Jonathan Meiberg was basically made for me to love him. Or at least try to get into his Bonezone. He used to be in Okkervil River (♥♥♥) and now he's got his own band, Shearwater.
He looks like this:

He sounds like this:

SIGH

And he's a MOTHER-EFFING ORNITHOLOGIST. Seriously. That's an interview with him in Scientific American. SWWWOOOOOONNNN. IT'S SCIENCE.

Also the new Shearwater album is the most amazing thing I've heard in months. GO GET IT. uh...when it comes out....I didn't download a leak, I swear.....

Bonezone jargon request:

This month my bonezone was in top form, quantity-wise. Quality was sorely lacking though! It's gotten to the point where I'm cock-blocking myself on purpose to avoid boring sex!

We need to think of a term for this phenomenon.
 And..........
GO!

Zachary Quinto!

I'm pretty sure you're gay....

but damn girl, you in my bonezone fo sho.

Let's do some Science!

Hey there Kari Byron from Mythbusters. What say you and I go back to my place and bust some myths together. Then maybe you can let me play with your sweet Wolverine claws.