March Molest Request: Justin Theroux

So I was all geared up to indulge in my desire to molest Ryan Adams this month, but then I just read that Justin Theroux is directing and writing the new Zoolander movie, and anyone who knows me knows those words right there are fucking magic. And straight up, he may be the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Look at that fucking bone structure! Not to mention he was the hottest little sub ever on Six Feet Under.....

P.S.: Fuck YEAH, thumbs up!

Also the man has serious style. Sigh. Not gonna lie you guys, this google image search miiiight have lead to some masturbation. Good god. Mr. Theroux might need to look into restraining orders in case I ever end up in NYC.

Le bonezone

We ended up behind these French hotties yesterday while walking down
stanyan. Went and had lunch on haight and as we left the restaurant
guess who ended up in front of us again? It was a fine, fine walk.

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Double team!

Beautiful boy at citrus club just gave both Garrett and I the once
over. You know what that means!

Are you

A shirtless soccer player in golden gate park right now? BONEZONE
p.s. I am such a creep

BoneZone: The Movie

Garrett and I are watching the J.J. Abrams Star Trek. My BoneZone is is overload mode. Jesus Christ. Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Chris Pine, Karl Urban, Eric Bana.

I'm in total sugar shock over here.

Prepare yourselves: Hottie Watching

 (These are our "undressing you with our eyes" faces)

So my lovely, wonderful, awesome gay bff of 15 years, Garrett, is visiting me this weekend from San Diego. Our absolute favorite thing to do when he's up here is "Hottie Watching" where we go somewhere like the Mission, spend all day in bars, and watch all the hot hot boys who pass by. This is our grand plan for today. There will be so much BoneZone action, though not of the literal variety unfortunately...sigh. But updates galore will be forthcoming, post haste.

Are you....

a hot gay Hawaiian bartender who spent way too much money buying shots for me last night??
Garrett and I both say: BONEZONE!

Every girl I've seen in the city for three days now...

...BONEZONE.

Seriously, there are a ridiculous amount of hot girls just wandering around out there. I want to take them home with me. Every girl under 30 (women really, not girls, perverts) I've seen has looked smoking. I keep making involuntary noises or yelling "Hot damn!" when I'm riding my bike around. You're killing it SF ladies. Now just be as cool as Oakland ladies and we can work something out.

(Also, what's up ladies in my scuba class?)

SFPDaaaaaamn

I posted about her on my twitter, but cute short-haired blonde police officer who patrols the neighborhood near my work needs to get in my bonezone. I know she's gay, but I don't care.

Bonezone on The Rock

Are you....
A hot Asian girl with freckles?
A tall blond german guy with cheekbones to die for?
A pair of hot hot Dutch brothers who are probably like 20?
Any number of other stupidly hot tourists I've flirted with today?

BONEZONE!!

March Molest Request - Jason Lee

Ohhh Jason Lee.. I'm pretty sure I've had this molest request since I was 17. I'm still waiting..... mustache, beard, I don't care - I'll even let you name my first born. Welcome to the Bone Zone.

Texts from Last Night: The BoneZone Version

Text message conversation my sister and I had this morning:

Valerie: Thoughts on Eli Roth?
Marie: Soooooo in my bonezone. I'm like obsessed with him.
Marie: He's actually the only reason I watched Inglorious Basterds to begin with.
Valerie: Hahahaha seriously!! HOT
Marie: He totally cyber sexed a bunch of his fans last year. Not even joking. Haha. That's when I knew I loved him.
Valerie: Me too!! Haha.

: /

This uber hot Dutch looking motherfucker just made "nom nom nom"
noises at me as I was walking down the island.
My bonezone is so conflicted.

Puppet time

Puppet foreplay?

BONEZONE

I'm pretty sure...

that my sex-drive is the only thing keeping this blog alive. Well that and I enabled e-mail posting so now I post from my phone every random thing that occurs to me wherever I happen to be.

Still, Raeven, Valerie, Chris....WTF?

I've said it a million times

There's nothing better than hot couples. They make my goddamn day.
BONEZONE, fo sho.

Oh Malcolm Holland...

Wanna be my sensitive, animal-activist boyfriend? I really like the way you're so serious about saving whales.
Also, pirate dude you're kicking it with up there is pretty hot. Threesome?

I love this:

I posted this on my personal blog over a year ago and I just remembered about it.

Best one: "I Rule. At Fuckin'. My Job. Is Truckin'. Don't Stop. Keep Suckin'"

P.S.

SCRATCH THAT. No longer applies.

"Penis Bone" Zone

If on our second date you give me a copper-wire wrapped fox baculum pendant that you made....BONEZONE.