March Molest Request: Karen Gillan

Miss Gillan, you can ride in my TARDIS any day. (Why are my molest requests always so nerdy?)

Joko und Klaas go to the German Porn Awards

Joko & Klaas are German MTV hosts. I want to have a million of their babies. Especially Joko. He's so tall. And blond. And German. Not to mention, those dork glasses are making my naughty bits tingle.

Here they are playing "Porno Ping Pong". These boys love porn apparently. Men after my own heart.

Come Pick Me Up

This song is forever a key to the BONEZONE. I'm fairly certain that if anyone ever sang this to me I'd drop to my knees and propose *while* fellating them. Double time if it's actually Ryan Adams doing the singing.

Killing it in the Sunset:

Euro-tourists in the park: KILLING IT
Hipster boys that my neighborhood is all of a sudden full of: KILLING IT
Chick walking in front of my apartment in a Joy Division t shirt: KILLING IT

Texts from Tonight: Webcam Edition

(3/25/2010 12:38:54 AM) Marie: dammit

(12:39:03 AM) Marie: so andrew and I got high at his place and went on chat roulette

(12:39:14 AM) Marie: NOW i find out that eli roth is on there

(12:39:19 AM) Marie: as we speak

(12:39:24 AM) Chris: dang

(12:39:25 AM) Marie: but now I'm at home

(12:39:30 AM) Marie: and not on chat roulette

(12:39:32 AM) Marie: ha

(12:39:42 AM) Chris: so go on there now

(12:39:51 AM) Marie: but i don't have a webcam

(12:39:56 AM) Marie: and I want to show him some titties

(12:47:36 AM) Chris: ahahaha

(12:47:41 AM) Chris: you are ridiculous

(12:47:49 AM) Marie: haha i mean I'm really high right now

(12:47:51 AM) Marie: so that's part of it

(12:48:02 AM) Marie: but also I am just awesome

Girls with freckles and red hair are killin it. Definitely in my bonezone (the shady part so she doesn't burn).

Hello...

Girl with nose piercing sitting on the tilt-a-whirl on the bus.
(Yeah, I know. I'm treating the BZB like my own persoanal craigslist missed connections. Don't care.)

Bonezone in memorium

This post goes out to my morning train crush, who I will never see
again since my schedule has switched from 8:45 to 10:30. So beautiful,
hotter, taller, blonder Ryan Gosling with the sexy hipster haircut and
the really hot peacoats who gets on the N at Cole and Carl at 7:45,
this ones for you. And for the bonezone equivalent of pouring out some
of my 40 for my dead homies, the next time I get to the bonezone
(tonight I'm pretty sure) I'll think of your hot hot ass.

Killing it part 2

So, as a follow-up to my previous post the following ladies are also killing it:

ladies with boyfriends, ladies walking dogs, ladies on their commute home through the panhandle, lady at the bank, german ladies wanting to know what there is to do in San Francisco (answer: get in my bonezone).

Not killing it:

lady waiting for the N with long hair, bangs and mom/hipster pants pulled up over her pooch. NOT IN MY BONEZONE LADY!

Downtown Girls

So I went for a walk on my lunch break and just about every girl I see is in my bonezone. Students, cyclists, tourists and business ladies are all killing it. I may have to develop some balls and just start asking strangers for their numbers.

March Molest Request: Justin Theroux

So I was all geared up to indulge in my desire to molest Ryan Adams this month, but then I just read that Justin Theroux is directing and writing the new Zoolander movie, and anyone who knows me knows those words right there are fucking magic. And straight up, he may be the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Look at that fucking bone structure! Not to mention he was the hottest little sub ever on Six Feet Under.....

P.S.: Fuck YEAH, thumbs up!

Also the man has serious style. Sigh. Not gonna lie you guys, this google image search miiiight have lead to some masturbation. Good god. Mr. Theroux might need to look into restraining orders in case I ever end up in NYC.

Le bonezone

We ended up behind these French hotties yesterday while walking down
stanyan. Went and had lunch on haight and as we left the restaurant
guess who ended up in front of us again? It was a fine, fine walk.

>

>
>

Double team!

Beautiful boy at citrus club just gave both Garrett and I the once
over. You know what that means!

Are you

A shirtless soccer player in golden gate park right now? BONEZONE
p.s. I am such a creep

BoneZone: The Movie

Garrett and I are watching the J.J. Abrams Star Trek. My BoneZone is is overload mode. Jesus Christ. Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Chris Pine, Karl Urban, Eric Bana.

I'm in total sugar shock over here.

Prepare yourselves: Hottie Watching

 (These are our "undressing you with our eyes" faces)

So my lovely, wonderful, awesome gay bff of 15 years, Garrett, is visiting me this weekend from San Diego. Our absolute favorite thing to do when he's up here is "Hottie Watching" where we go somewhere like the Mission, spend all day in bars, and watch all the hot hot boys who pass by. This is our grand plan for today. There will be so much BoneZone action, though not of the literal variety unfortunately...sigh. But updates galore will be forthcoming, post haste.

Are you....

a hot gay Hawaiian bartender who spent way too much money buying shots for me last night??
Garrett and I both say: BONEZONE!

Every girl I've seen in the city for three days now...

...BONEZONE.

Seriously, there are a ridiculous amount of hot girls just wandering around out there. I want to take them home with me. Every girl under 30 (women really, not girls, perverts) I've seen has looked smoking. I keep making involuntary noises or yelling "Hot damn!" when I'm riding my bike around. You're killing it SF ladies. Now just be as cool as Oakland ladies and we can work something out.

(Also, what's up ladies in my scuba class?)

SFPDaaaaaamn

I posted about her on my twitter, but cute short-haired blonde police officer who patrols the neighborhood near my work needs to get in my bonezone. I know she's gay, but I don't care.

Bonezone on The Rock

Are you....
A hot Asian girl with freckles?
A tall blond german guy with cheekbones to die for?
A pair of hot hot Dutch brothers who are probably like 20?
Any number of other stupidly hot tourists I've flirted with today?

BONEZONE!!

March Molest Request - Jason Lee

Ohhh Jason Lee.. I'm pretty sure I've had this molest request since I was 17. I'm still waiting..... mustache, beard, I don't care - I'll even let you name my first born. Welcome to the Bone Zone.

Texts from Last Night: The BoneZone Version

Text message conversation my sister and I had this morning:

Valerie: Thoughts on Eli Roth?
Marie: Soooooo in my bonezone. I'm like obsessed with him.
Marie: He's actually the only reason I watched Inglorious Basterds to begin with.
Valerie: Hahahaha seriously!! HOT
Marie: He totally cyber sexed a bunch of his fans last year. Not even joking. Haha. That's when I knew I loved him.
Valerie: Me too!! Haha.

: /

This uber hot Dutch looking motherfucker just made "nom nom nom"
noises at me as I was walking down the island.
My bonezone is so conflicted.

Puppet time

Puppet foreplay?

BONEZONE

I'm pretty sure...

that my sex-drive is the only thing keeping this blog alive. Well that and I enabled e-mail posting so now I post from my phone every random thing that occurs to me wherever I happen to be.

Still, Raeven, Valerie, Chris....WTF?

I've said it a million times

There's nothing better than hot couples. They make my goddamn day.
BONEZONE, fo sho.

Oh Malcolm Holland...

Wanna be my sensitive, animal-activist boyfriend? I really like the way you're so serious about saving whales.
Also, pirate dude you're kicking it with up there is pretty hot. Threesome?

I love this:

I posted this on my personal blog over a year ago and I just remembered about it.

Best one: "I Rule. At Fuckin'. My Job. Is Truckin'. Don't Stop. Keep Suckin'"

P.S.

SCRATCH THAT. No longer applies.

"Penis Bone" Zone

If on our second date you give me a copper-wire wrapped fox baculum pendant that you made....BONEZONE.