Seriously???

True Blood, you are completely killing my boner this season. However the same cannot be said for Joe Manganiello.

BONEZONE

BONEZONE

B  O  N  E  Z  O  N  E

Eff.

Also...

These are our last ~20 referrers:

Google Images: justin theroux six feet under  Google Images: justin theroux six feet under     Google Images: justin theroux six feet under    Google Images: justin theroux six feet under     Google Images: justin theroux six feet under     Google Images: daniel brühl     Google Images: LynZ naked     Google Images: Justin Theroux     Google Images: theroux justin     Google Images: Justin Theroux naked     Yahoo Images: justin theroux     Google Images: justin theroux six feet under     Google Images: justin theroux naked     Google Images: justin theroux six feet under     Google Images: justin theroux naked     Google Images: justin theroux     Google Images: justin theroux     Google Images: Justin Theroux six feet under     Google Images: Justin Theroux penis     Google Images: justin theroux six feet under     Google Images: justin theroux six feet under

OH.

RIGHT.

THAT GUY.

SWOON.

BoneZone: Cougar Style

So that's it. I'm sick of dudes wanting to get all emotional and becoming stalkers and not-respecting boundaries and showing up at my place out of nowhere. And turning into whiny, cry-baby, drama queens.

Are you a hot, strapping guy in your early to mid-20's who wants to brag to your friends about the hot older chick you're banging and does NOT want to talk about your feelings and won't get attached? BONEZONE.

My Bone Zone Is Colored Caramel to Dark Chocolate

That's because Black Girls (totally NSFW) make up 90% of my bone zone. That's right... I'm down with the swirl. My dick is reverse racist.

Planning my trip to San Diego:

(9:17:19 AM) Valerie: haha oh well, more fun for us!
(9:17:24 AM) Marie: totes
(9:17:31 AM) Marie: bring some hotties to your party so I can make out
(9:17:31 AM) Marie: haha
(9:17:35 AM) Valerie: hahahahhaha
(9:17:56 AM) Valerie: all the hotties i know have girlfriends
(9:17:57 AM) Valerie: haha
(9:18:00 AM) Marie: LAME

BONEZONE links:

So I'm trying to get this shit back up and running. Or something. Here are some links regarding people that I and other people would like to fuck:

• Bangable Dudes in History - it's pretty much the shit. And it has pie charts! 
• 20 DWDILFS - a post featuring pictures of 20 dudes this chick would like to fuck, hanging out with dogs. It's pretty cool and all, but I'm pretty fucking sure that #20 should be #1 and #1 should be discarded altogether. 
• Flickr Group: Hot Dudes on Bikes - considering hotdudesonbikes.com is basically the best site ever, this flickr group is basically the best flickr group ever.

I don't *remember* designing a watch.

Must have happened in my sleep...

I'd hit it.

Oh yes. Even if he does look kinda greasy.

Man, we need to get these

What do you mean they're only mock-ups?! Damn it!

via

My friend just sent me this for Mother's Day:

                
Preeeeetty much.

Molest Request Sammich: Stipe Erceg and Daniel Brühl

I'm watching The Edukators right now.

It's pretty awesome and all, but the important thing is that Stipe Erceg:

and Daniel Brühl (who you might recognize from Inglorius Basterds):

are SQUARELY in my BoneZone.
At the same time.

BoneZone Bites:

• Fuck Yeah Hot Blonde Guys: Best. Site. Ever.
• Hot Guys Reading Books: Pretty good runner up, though not as great as Hot Dudes on Bikes.
• Filament Magazine: Got a subscription to this porno for intellectual ladies mag for my bday. My friends know me waaay too well.

April Molest Request: LynZ

She is the bassist of my favorite band: Mindless Self Indulgence. Her name is LynZ (real name unknown) and she wears plaid skirts and does back bend and splits while she plays. I'm not really sure more needs to be said.

No Molest Requests for April

April was a rather shit month so I've decided that it doesn't deserve
any Molest Requests. Ha. May should be awesome though, especially
since my birthday is this month. Hopefully it's full of super BoneZone
adventures and Molest Requests apleanty!

Eli Roth...

in a pool, naked, showing off his ass. BOOOOOOOOOOOOONEZONE. Christ almighty.

Full On Creep Mode in the Sunset.

Dude in the turquoise hoodie and dork glasses crossing 19th that I just saw out of my window? BONEZONE

Here's the deal. I know it makes me a full on creep, but this is the view from my room:

As you can see, I have a view of both the 28 stop that goes in the direction of SF State as well as the inbound N stop, and it's a pretty busy pedestrian intersection for the stops going in the other directions. And I'm not gonna lie, it's a fucking hottie parade out there. I have definitely been inebriated and shamelessly catcalling from my window before. I'm awful, I know.

On a related note, I totally got to the bonezone a couple of weeks ago and forgot to close my curtains. I choose to think of it as my way of giving back to the neighborhood. Ha.

Music for the BoneZone: Peter Gabriel

Peter Gabriel writes songs that make ME want to fall in love. That should indicate the kinds of magical BoneZone powers this man has. Like "I would look you in the eyes while we fuck" kinds of powers. Cause as well all know, I hate intimacy. But MAGIC PETER GABRIEL POWERS! Bam, there I am, trying to connect with you on some emotional level or something. WHO AM I?


(Also this video is from 1994. Way to rock those skinny jeans before the trend Peter!)


My favorite Peter Gabriel song ever. Also, Peter circa '78: BONEZONE


How could I not include this one? It's like the original misfit/weirdo BoneZone jam.


This one is just epic. Epically BONE-worthy.

On a related note, if you come upon me listening to Peter Gabriel and you ask "Why are you listening to Phil Collins?" you are AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIED from my BoneZone FOREVER.

NOT IN MY BONEZONE

If you spit some line about how you're "great at eating pussy" to try to get into my bonezone, it will have the complete opposite effect. Seriously, that makes my vagina want to shrivel up and crawl inside of itself. Barf.

East Bay Bonezone

So I basically already knew this from my recent dating history, but
last night totally confirmed this. Boys from Oakland are waaaay more
in my Bonezone than boys in the city. What the hell SF? Get with it.

Texts from Tonight: "Marie is Kinda Scary" Edition

Garrett: So are you gonna give him a ride on the ol mustache?
Marie: Shit yeah I am. Haha.
Garrett: Hahaha.
Marie: Then I'll knock him up with like 10 of my babies.
Garrett: You would get a guy prego. Lol.
Marie: Haha. I know. If anyone can do it I'm pretty sure it will be me.
Garrett: It's true.